Posted 1 day ago

thatenglishmajorquestion:

"what are you going to do with a degree in english?" d0 YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT ME SIR

Posted 1 day ago
I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips.
Posted 1 day ago

theenigmaofriversong asked: Tentoo or Flesh Ganger Doctor?

(Source: expelliarmus)

Posted 1 day ago

ahlohomora:

I’m half and half. Me dad’s a Muggle; Mam’s a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

 (via)

(Source: mudsblood)

Posted 1 day ago

mermaidcrew:

I am so thirsty for emotional and physical intimacy with someone 

I want to nuzzle their neck and lay entwined on my bed and lazily kiss their lips and make them food get to know every single curve and contour they have 

I want to touch someone with my finger tips and make them feel loved 

Posted 1 day ago

I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

kumquatwriter:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

Reblogging because the reaction gifs are spot on.

I couldn’t stand FSOG and couldn’t make it past the sporking of the second book - but if you’re interested in the “original” fanfiction, now you have it. And if you’re interested in some genius sporking of it:

http://jennytrout.wordpress.com/jenny-reads-50-shades-of-grey/

The audio ones are the best.

Posted 1 day ago

supernaturalapocalypse:

My dash is judging you end!verse Cas.

Posted 1 day ago

jaclcfrost:

undeadxarmy:

jaclcfrost:

idk why wearing someone else’s shirt or sweater or jacket is so satisfying and comforting but it is

but not as satisfying as seeing someone else wearing your jacket or sweatshirt. like. wow. they’re wearing my sweatshirt. and it’s cute as fuck. 

the bond between the person wearing someone else’s clothes and the person whose clothes they are wearing is strong

Posted 2 days ago

trotskay:

went to an American restaurant today!!!! ‘ello mate!!!!!! put forks in my hair to show my love for these Westerners’ food!!! Haha!!!!! Ha!!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha  !

(Source: leninistvaporwave)

Posted 2 days ago
whenever i listen to serial killer by lana del rey it reminds me of you
Anonymous asked

malefactum:

Probably because I’m a serial killer but idk it could be something else.